Today was a good day until.. well later. I hung out with Jacob, Libby, Jason, and Maddie all day until around seven. Greg isn’t happy and he’s really upset so I’m all worried about him. I spent as much time as i could trying to make him feel better. I hate when people I truly care about are hurting, I sincerely do. I love that kid so much and I hope things get better fast because he doesn’t deserve to deal with any negative feelings. On a different note, I’m kind of thoughtful. Highschool is so stressful, especially when everyone mingles and like the same people or just can’t feel happy for whatever reason. It’s complicated and mindboggling, It drives me crazy. Especially because I have not met any people who can see positively when things aren’t going to great and that worries me. I mean I’m not always happy, and I’m definitely far from brave.. but I don’t want people to be ~like me~ I want them to be able to be go getters and be able to be happy when theres something to be happy about. I like how I can bring things to light that people can’t think about when they’re down… I like to lift them up. I feel really heavy in my heart and I can’t place exactly why but I know I am frustrated, sad, concerned/worried, and sincere when I write all of this. I’m sure I will be cheery tomorrow, I usually am when I sleep things off or say my goodnight prayers. I need to be and I need to be so I can make sure everybody else is okay and happy. It’s my job. People tell me I need to stop putting everyone else first but the truth is nothing will ever change that, no matter what. I’m always going to be selfless, even if that’s what hurts me most in whatever situations that do make me feel that way. I get a satisfaction knowing someone else is happy because of something I’ve given up or because of me in general. I don’t know if it’s wrong or right but as long as I have the one or two people in my life who tell me (even if it isn’t as often as it used to be) how I make them happy and how much I make things easier for them and how stupid I can be because I let people step all over me things will be good. I honestly can’t imagine my life without Jake Clark in it, even though he’s not around but one day a week I cannot live without that boy in my life in some way and I am sincerely greatful that I haven’t completely lost him. Because God knows I’ve done so many things without thinking that could’ve totally fucked myself over and viceversa. He’s the only person I know who is totally honest with me and always will be. I wouldn’t be who I am today without him. I hope that everyone gets to feeling better.. and more so, I hope everyone gets that I am here for them if they need to tell me anything. I don’t judge. I will give my honest opinion if you want it. I won’t tell you how it makes me feel or if I don’t like it unless you flat out ask me. I’m told I am amazing with advice and psychiatric things like that… so please take advantage of it and not in a -USE U- way but in a I need you as a friend way. I think you get what I mean. I love you all very much and stay strong.

xx. molly.